Rediscovering Who I Am

Jennifer Slattery

Have you ever felt as if you lost yourself? After having spent years, maybe decades, chasing a certain dream or pursuing a certain career, only to find yourself … languishing, and feeling like you’ve missed it somehow—that thing you were meant to do, your reason for existence, and really, who you are at your core.

Identity matters. So many of our insecurities, disappointments, and fears stem from misplaced identity.

I’ve tried to define myself a lot of different ways—to nail down who I am, or at least, who I’m supposed to be. But I always came up short. Initially, I tried to prove myself through education. I’ve attended eight different colleges in five different states and have pursued—not completed, mind you, but pursued—nearly as many degrees. And though I eventually graduated with a 3.96, my academic achievements ultimately amounted to little more than marks on a page.

They didn’t fulfill or define me.

I attempted to find my identity through sports, through parenting, through marriage, but though I found momentary fulfillment, even my most precious moments could not fill up all my empty places or my God-created need for significance.

I can’t measure myself against others or by temporary goals, as lofty as they may be. God wants me to go deeper, to ground myself in that which is eternal. Unshakable.

A while back, I praised my daughter for her integrity, revealed through a series of behaviors. Her response, “You’re my mom. You have to say that.”

Though I hope my accolades have more validity than she implied, I understood her sentiment. My affirmations were subjective, because they were just that—mine. And though I believe they encouraged her, they couldn’t reach the same place within her heart that Christ’s validation could.

Scripture begins with, “In the beginning God …” (Genesis 1:1, NIV). That’s where we begin as well—in God. We discover our value, identity, and purpose is the One who made all things, including our beating hearts. Colossians 3:3 puts it this way, “For you died,” –to our old way of life— “and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”

Only God, the Creator of all things, has the authority to assign our identity and purpose and define our worth, and He says we’re treasures worth dying for. That’s an identity worth protecting.

It’s taken me a lot to reach this place of rest and unshakable fulfillment. Actually, a lifetime. A lifetime of losing myself, trying to build myself, instead of resting in who I already am. Who Christ says I am and who I’m supposed to be.

He says He made me and I am His. And that is enough.

Jennifer, thank you so much for this beautiful message today. It was very timely for me, and I know readers will be blessed by it.

Jennifer Slattery is a writer and international speaker who’s addressed women’s groups, church groups, Bible studies, and other writers across the nation. She’s the author of six contemporary novels maintains a devotional blog found at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLoud.com. She has a passion for helping women discover, embrace, and live out who they are in Christ. As the founder of Wholly Loved Ministries, she and her team partner with churches to facilitate events designed to help women rest in their true worth and live with maximum impact. When not writing, reading, or editing, Jennifer loves going on mall dates with her adult daughter and coffee dates with her hilariously fun husband.

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